Part 3 - Loving Your Self

Meditating on self-love.

Here is a simple meditation for learning to accept and appreciate yourself just as you are.

This meditation is done from the perspective of your ‘Spiritual Self’. Your Spiritual Self is one and the same as your innermost awareness... it is the quiet, non-judging observer within you and all the rest of you... your body, mind, emotions, personal traits, etc., we will refer to as ‘your personality’. Just for this exercise, think of your personality as a separate person.

Sit comfortably and close your eyes (after you have read these instructions). Now begin to observe your personality... notice your thoughts, your emotions, how your body feels…. Take some time to get acquainted with your personality. Objectively think about its various characteristics.

Next, imagine that your personality is your child and that you are its parent. See this child as a perfect creation of Spirit... still growing into its highest potential, but perfect at whatever stage it's now at. Accept your child as it is... accept it completely, just as it is. Look at your child with appreciation and compassion. Look fondly and compassionately at your child, with all of its strengths and positive traits, as well as it's various weaknesses and follies. Open your heart and embrace this child with complete, unconditional love.

Practicing this exercise will help deepen your self-love. Although encountering challenges along the way is a necessary part you journey, you will find that healthy self-love can be a tremendous ally in smoothing out the rough and rocky stretches of your path. (Jim Malloy The World Wide Online Meditation Center www.meditationcenter.com)

Following is another meditation from Jim Malloy I chose for you to support you on your healing journey. Just follow the simple steps and accept whatever happens.

* Sit comfortably with your spine reasonably straight. It's fine to lean against something. If you are feeling too bad to sit up, lie down flat on your back. If you are in too much of a funk to do that, any position will do.

* With your eyes closed, take a few moments to pay attention to your breathing... breathe naturally, and observe your breath coming in, filling you, and going out.

* Now, focus your attention on the emotions you are feeling. Take some time to simply feel the emotions. Try not to analyse them, alter them, or push them away. Just feel the emotions, remaining as present as you can with them for a few minutes. (This is a powerful means of emotional healing, but if it is too painful, you can skip to the next step.)

* Next, imagine a radiant face... the face of the most loving, caring, compassionate, being you can think of. (You may see this face, or you may just sense or feel its presence. However you experience it is ok.) This face may or may not be familiar to you. You may think of it as a manifestation of Spirit, or as just an extremely caring and compassionate being.

* Spend a few minutes communing with this loving being. Converse with it if you like, silently or aloud... or just commune in silence.

* Then offer your negative emotions up to this loving being for healing. Just turn them over to be healed and transformed.

* When you are ready, slowly come out of your meditation.

As you continue to grow spiritually from your meditation practice, you begin to realize that you don't have to be a victim of the ever-changing winds and waves of emotion... you become empowered and more in control of your life. That doesn't mean that you cease to feel things. Rather, you may experience the entire spectrum of feelings, but you are no longer at the mercy of the more turbulent emotional weather as it moves through your life.

Annette www.paradigmshifttraining.com

Part 2 - Loving Your Self

Cultivating Self Love. LET THE FUN BEGIN!

Up until now we have been exploring all the different issues around self-love. How can you start to love yourself?

You can start to practice Forgiveness! Let go of your resentments and work through your anger. Let go of accusations and blame. Work through all the blocks that prevent you from forgiving e.g. ‘what they did to me is unforgivable’.

Realise that forgiveness is not about the other person; it’s all about YOU setting yourself free to be present in the moment-of-now and to create the future you desire.

Unlock the door to your self-imposed prison – start to forgive yourself and every person you hold in a space of unforgiveness. And then…………

o Start to live your life in gratitude. Life is a gift and you are a gift to life. Gift = present. We can only be truly grateful if we live in the present moment – live in the gift! Could be great fun!

o Choose to be generous and treat yourself to something you have been longing for. Meet some friends and go to a movie. Buy yourself that outfit! Take a vacation.

o Eat healthy foods and exercise regularly. You may want to "treat" yourself to things like a massage, a facial, a pedicure, or a gym membership.

o Cultivate a willingness to re-examine and release old beliefs, and create new ways of thinking and believing. This is usually sufficient for your subconscious mind. However, your subconscious mind - which stores information much like a computer - may need a bit of ‘re-programming’. The daily repetition of positive affirmations - such as ‘I love and accept myself exactly as I am’ is one of the most commonly used methods for change. Affirmations can be written, spoken aloud, or repeated mentally.

o Make a list of all your positive qualities. Even though you are cultivating "unconditional" self-acceptance, this helps create a shift toward thinking of yourself in a more positive light.

o Focus on one aspect of yourself that you love e.g. you are hardworking, or you are very sensitive or you have beautiful eyes, and start to really appreciate that part of you. Keep looking for more things and more things – they are there! Keep going until you start to fall in love with yourself. Yes! It’s ok to do that. No, you are not being vain.

o Be kind, compassionate, patient and loving towards yourself. Now start to give this gift to others. Share your smile and patience, kind words, friendship and love to others. Imagine your energy start to ripple out like a pebble you threw into a pond…wider and wider, until it ripples out around the world and comes straight back to you. Whao!

o You are a very unique and special child of the universe. You are a gift to the world. Who you are and what you do matters. You do count, and what you contribute does count. Keep affirming that everyday.

o Treat yourself to a bubble bath, eat dinner at home by candlelight, take a walk on the beach, swim in the ocean (those waters are very healing), or watch a sunset.

o Taking time to enjoy your hobby. What’s that? I hear you say. Maybe you enjoyed painting or writing or horseriding. These are just a few ideas... You can put your own imagination to work...

o Deepen your awareness. Do some honest soul-searching... ask yourself: Is there a shortage of self-love in my life? And if so, why? What are the underlying dynamics? There are a number of ways to find some answers…. quiet reflection, talking it out with a trusted friend or therapist, or writing in a journal are all good approaches. Find out what works best for you.

o Become passionate about being alive. Close your eyes and acknowledge yourself for the things you have achieved in your life in spite of difficulties growing up.

o Choose one aspect of yourself that you are not particularly fond of – that you don’t really want to look at or care to remember, and embrace it. That ‘shadow’ part of you carry with it loads of precious gifts.

o Let go of abusive relationships. LEAVE! Walk away! Quit your need to be physically and emotionally abused and broken. It breaks down your spirit. Get help. NOW!

o Choose to be happy and joyful. How you feel is entirely up to you. Choose victory over victim hood.

o Commit to being an extraordinary human being on an extraordinary path of making major mind shifts to create a reality of winning this time around.

o Become your own best friend. Get to know what makes you tick. What do you enjoy doing and what do you dislike doing. What are your values? What is important to you? What is your purpose? Why did you choose to be here? What are your strengths? Take time out for your self. Meditate. Dream. Visualize. Create. Manifest. LOVE LIFE and LOVE YOURSELF.

Next time I will give you some exercises you can do to support you on your journey.

END

The end is the beginning.

Annette www.paradigmshifttraining.com

Part 1 - Loving Your Self

"A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings,
and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses."

-- Hippocrates (460 BC - 377 BC)

Clearly the most worthwhile journey you can ever pack your bags for is the journey of self-love and self-acceptance. Imagine what it would be like to embark on such a journey.

Once you begin to invest in self-love and self-acceptance, once you realize that you can love and accept yourself, your life will begin to change before your very own eyes. You will start to walk on clouds! Sounds good?

I can just hear what’s going on in your mind. All the excuses why you can’t love and accept yourself NOW. Check me! Is this what you are thinking?

· "I will love myself when I am thinner.

· I will love myself when I get that promotion.

· I will love myself when I stop feeling so insecure.

· I will accept myself when I find that new boyfriend/girlfriend, or

· I will accept myself when I am more positive and confident."
Right? 

So you added a few more ‘obstacles’ on your journey… what else is racing through your mind?

· Love is something that has to be earned?

You know the song "Greatest Love of All"? Goes like this "The greatest love of all - Is easy to achieve - Learning to love yourself - It is the greatest love of all."


Does ‘learning to love yourself’ seem ‘easy to achieve’ for you? For some people, genuine self-love seems so difficult, so much harder to achieve than for others. And you know what? You can do it!

Stop and picture how not loving yourself is affecting your life. Take a few moments and really picture your life without love for your precious self.

What did you see? What would you say the major negative effects are? Let me help you out with a few suggestions:

· It makes it difficult to truly love others. You tend to judge others by the same conditions with which you judge yourself.

· It makes it difficult for you to accept love from another, because if you don't fit your conditions for self-love, you tend to feel that you are not lovable.

· A shortage of self-love tends to pose a major obstacle to creating the life you dream of.

· If you do not accept yourself, you will naturally assume that you don't deserve life's abundant gifts and the loving support of the Universe. This deep belief that you don’t deserve, unconsciously sends a negative message to the Universe – a command to the cosmic computer - which is essentially saying: ‘I'm not worthy’, so no matter how much I might ask, or pray, or whine, my hopes and dreams remain hopes and dreams.’ In this way, you punish yourself by sabotaging your own efforts.

· If you keep giving to others without giving to yourself, it is like pouring water from a vessel. If you pour and pour without ever refilling it, eventually, it will run dry. So, if you are like that vessel, you will also run dry. How will you refill, recharge, re-energize, and replenish yourself so that you have the energy and love to give to others? Naturally, by loving and giving to yourself, first.

· You create illness in your body through your negative self-talk such as arthritis, cancer, depression, fatigue, and all sorts of bodily aches and pains.

Somewhat depressing? On the other hand, what are the positive effects of loving yourself?

Stop and ask yourself where your life could be if you have a healthy sense of self-love.

The possibilities are endless:

· You find it much easier to love others, and much easier to accept the love of others.

· You feel deserving of the good things in life and the powerful support of the Universe.

· This naturally opens the door for your hopes and dreams to be fulfilled more easily and for your life to proceed with untold abundance.

· You are happy and successful

· You are beautiful and you will love your body.

· You are healthy and in balance

· You feel worthy of love

· You are powerful and self-confident

· You are aware of your self-talk (those things that you say to yourself inside your head).

· You speak to yourself in ways that are kind, and less mean or abusive.

· Your harsh inner critic changes to a gentle caring and supportive voice.

· When you make a mistake, this critical voice inside your head that used to beat
you up, saying things like, "That was such a stupid thing to do! ... I can never do anything
right! ... What a loser I am!" are now replaced with positive ones. For example, "I made a
mistake. That's okay: That is how I learn. I'll know better the next time. I can make a new
choice."

Imagine…. the more you love yourself the more you will "catch yourself" when your self-talk is negative, and the more you will change the message to something more positive, loving and nurturing. You will also "Catch yourself being right." In other words, you won’t just catch the voice of your inner critic, and stop it from beating you up, you will also catch yourself when you do something well, or when you find yourself saying the right things to yourself or to others, you will reward yourself by verbally acknowledging yourself, giving yourself a pat on the back, or treat yourself to something special.

STOP and listen to your own thoughts now. You want to do whatever it takes to change. You want to hear more and you want to know what options are open to you to create a life of abundance through loving yourself

In closing off today my message to you is ‘Leave no stone unturned’ pack your bags and get on the special journey of self-love. With this newly acquired knowledge, picture yourself cultivating self-love.

The universe is holding its breath waiting for you to show up. Look out for Part 2 in two weeks.

Annette www.paradigmshifttraining.com

Announcing an Exciting 4 part series on Loving Your Self

To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.

Oscar Wilde

As you read every word of this short newsletter series on SELF LOVE, you will certainly begin to discover breakthroughs in all aspects of your life. Imagine yourself experiencing great improvement in your communication with your children, your partner and your boss. Imagine attracting more loving relationships. Imagine greater job satisfaction and huge improvement in your health. Yes! You are feeling a deep sense of well-being and abundance in your life.

If I could give you the tools to understand the reasons for, and disadvantages of lack of SELF LOVE and then HOW TO embark on a wonderful healing journey to experience the power of loving yourself, would you be interested? Of course!

Apparently, one of our most challenging journeys is the journey of LOVING OURSELVES. Clearly, this appears to be one of the most difficult journeys of our lives and may certainly be the greatest and most important love some of us will ever experience in this lifetime.

Why is this so and what actually is self-love?

By the time you finish reading these newsletters, you will have learned the secret and the power of SELF LOVE.

It surprises me when I ask people if they love themselves, most of them would say yes. However, when I encourage them to explore this question at a deeper level and ‘go within’ to examine their real feelings about themselves, they are quite shocked when they discover what’s really going on. They often have this to say to me: ‘I am my own worst enemy’. ‘I don’t trust myself; I constantly judge and criticize myself and sometimes even punish myself. I have no compassion for myself, and I don’t take loving care of myself – my looks, the way I dress, my health’……….

Let me ask you. What is coming up for you right now? Do you experience a huge amount of SELF LOVE? Or do some of or similar thoughts come up for you such as below.

Allow yourself to be open… Do you hear yourself saying ‘I could lose some weight, have a smaller nose, drive a better car, and have a more exciting life’? Are you often angry with yourself and do you judge and criticize everything you do? Are you a perfectionist? Do you abuse yourself and does your life ever work?

Do you struggle with the concept of loving yourself?

Wouldn’t it be amazing if you could just simply fall in love with yourself? You know what I mean, don’t you? Just imagine what it would be like if you did…Clearly! You would experience some magic starting to happen in your life. Yes? Wouldn’t that be just plain awesome?

Ask yourself this question: ‘What do I believe about myself’? You might be surprised when you discover how many times you hear yourself say all or some of the beliefs below.

· I am not good enough,

· I don’t deserve,

· I don’t matter,

· Nobody likes me,

· I’m unwanted – my mother never wanted me,

· I’m a mistake,

· I’m useless,

· Nobody cares about me,

· I should have been a boy/girl

· I’m too fat

· I’m too thin

· I’m unlovable

Any connection? (These thoughts are all lies created by the mind to maintain our artificial sense of limitation. All feeling states are generated from within. More about this later.) And you begin to notice that there are very few people who do not verbalise these thoughts/beliefs at least once a day.

There’s never been a better time for me to share with you what self-love is all about.

It’s so simple…. Self-love is simply and largely a matter of unconditional self-acceptance and self-approval with self-appreciation and compassion for oneself thrown in.

Stop and ask yourself this key question: Why do we have this difficulty with loving ourselves? Listen to your own thoughts. You want answers and you want it now. Ask yourself where you will be 6 weeks from now if you start to love yourself. Amazing hey?

It’s important to understand that when you were growing up you were constantly bombarded by the well-meaning comments and points of view of the people around you, especially your parents. You had to listen to their attitudes and belief systems and obey what they were saying to you. Here are a few examples. Let’s examine if you resonate with any of them. Do they remind you of other statements you heard?

Just let yourself drift back in time and re experience your feelings when you heard them say:

· Children should be seen and not heard,

· You will never amount to anything

· Shame on you

· I am just not going to put up with you anymore

· I have told you a thousand times

· After all I have done for you

· I have worked two jobs just to support you

· You embarrassed us today

· Big boys don’t cry

· A woman’s work is never done.

· Hard work never hurt anyone

· Money does not grow on trees

· Why can’t you be like your brother?

· There isn’t money for that

· As long as you are under my roof, you will obey the rules!

· I brought you into this life, and I can take you out! And on and on and on!

The most important thing you need to realize is that you made some powerful decisions about yourself and about life as a result of the above messages, and these decisions became your beliefs and these beliefs are controlling your life today! The good news is that once we become aware of why we behave in the way we do and why we treat ourselves in the way we do, we can change it.

Imagine what it would be like if you could discover what it would feel like if you could transform all these old habitual negative thoughts that’s keeping you stuck and unable to walk on clouds.


Till next time...

Annette www.paradigmshifttraining.com